Panspermic Papayas & Memetical Mice

There in the void of space, exists a myriad of lifeforms searching for others like themselves. Located in one of the spiral arms of the Milky Way is such a race: The Panspermic Papayas. An austere and enlightened race, Panspermic Papayas have evolved to a stage where they have become successful in hermaphroditic reproduction. This power to reproduce infinitely and their eugenic experiments have allowed their civilization to reach great heights in authoritarian political dominance, interstellar investments, coldblooded logic gate applications and social engineering. Having lived off numerous dying planetary systems parasitically over millenniums, the Papayas decided they needed more resources to defile. Once more they got onto their mothership, a gargantuan blue rimmed disk-shaped spaceship named Itsnotmyfaultyouaredumb. Armed with a lightning pulse generator drive it's a fearsome battlecruiser that smites unfortunate enemies with a deadly charge of defamaton beam. As it flew out of the dying planet Suckeddry in hyper escape velocity, the light from the nearby white dwarf sun of the system reflected brightly off its hull making it appear whiter than white. The pilot of Itsnotmyfaultyouaredumb engaged the lightning pulse generator drive and a slow hum begun. The craft vibrated subtly as a red plasma streak resembling crimson lightning appeared across the diameter of the ship in the direction of travel. The lightning pulse grew brighter and started warping the gravity of the nearby planet Suckeddry. In an instant of less than 0.5 picoseconds, the planet wobbled on its axis and a wormhole engulfed the Itsnotmyfaultyouaredumb launching it forward into warp space. Minutes later a huge tectonic upheaval tore apart the dying planet, revealing its molten core. Billions of screams evaporated as they were silenced by the vacuum of space. The race of Keeppayingplebiansanddiehahaha was no more. A gigantic amorphous cloud appeared near orbital distance of the fragmented planet, it looked upon the grotesque terraform sprouting magma into the thinned out atmosphere and dimmed as if it felt great sorrow. The amorphous form glowed yellow and multi hued auras floated within it's cloud-like body. It was a Galactic Watcher belonging to the bureau of Karmic Transgression Management(KTM). Beginning a slow orbit around the devastated planet, the amorphous form took mental pictures of the transgression . Vibrating in harmonious musical notes, it added the event to a mounting archive on the sins of the Panspermic Papayas.

The Intergalactic Good Karma Convention held on the Planet Dontgiveashitabouthague had passed a bill 10 millenniums ago which outlawed interstellar travel via planetary destruction and member races signed a treaty allowing application of Unified Karmic Laws across star system borders to apprehend criminals who violate this act . The Panspermic Papayas had refused to be part of the member list, existing outside jurisdiction of the KTM. As a result Panspermic Papayas seek an eternal physical existence to avoid reincarnation as it falls within KTM jurisdiction. Eternal physical existence requires heavy sustenance in forms of physical resources. To lead princely lives the Panspermic Papayas had assumed a leech mentality in order to propagate their eternal physical existence. Utilization and social engineering of backward species and fresh planets became a priority in Papaya doctrines. Over the millenniums Papayas have siphoned at the rate of 500 planets/millennium. Recent surges in expenditure on lifestyle products has increased their quota to 700 planets/millennium. The Great Leader of Papayas, GrandHighhandedLord Toobrightanyew had repeatedly insisted that the quota increase as necessary to prevent a devolution trend from happening and that it was critical to the maintenance of a viable ruling Panspermic Papaya existence. Editor Note : We at the Bombastic Legion Of Great Intergalactic Publishers think its total crap talk.

In the year 6661965666, the Itsnotmyfaultyouaredumb appeared hurtling out of warp space into the opposite end of the Milky Way. Activating long range bioscanners, the Panspermic Papayas found 3091200 viable locations for exploitative cultivation. Powering the immense thrusters, Itsnotmyfaultyouaredumb sped towards the nearest Planet they codenamed Secret Garden. Taking a variety of stolen genetic technology from the star system Iwonnobleprizehireme, the Papayas produced a race of rodents and seeded them on Secret Garden. The grand plan as proposed by GrandDuke Dimwitdraconian, offspring sired by GrandHighhandedLord Toobrightanyew was to milk the natural resources of Secret Garden and to alter the social structure of the planted mice species for the benefit of Papayas. Then the Papayas would take the mice harvested peanuts to power their other planetary conquests. They named the mice Getoutofmyeliteface Extremelystupidplebians. Using accelerated evolution they shaped the mice into sentient lifeforms in a matter of minutes and proceeded to image themselves as godlike entities sent to administrate the advance of the mice. . The mice at this stage of evolution were a scattered race which populated a small continent on the watery planet Secret Garden. Infighting and cannibalism was common place for the mice. To control the chaos, Panspermic Papayas decided that the inferior race of mice needed part of their divine genetic material , hence they created hybrids from the mice, inserting Papaya genes into selected family trees. Out of these hybrids a particularly docile and cooperative lineage was formed: IamaSuckyDork. Panspermic Papayas obtained unwavering loyalty from these rodent hybrids by grand promises of afterlife . Thinking about the rosy picture of having 42 virgin wives and unlimited powers of arrest, IamaSuckyDork agents work hard controlling the population of Getoutofmyeliteface Extremelystupidplebians.

To further cement their dominance over the mice, Panspermic Papayas began building great monuments of power to show the mice that they had the mandate of heavens and their rule was to be unquestionable. The IamaSuckyDork agents equipped with invisibility suits lurking about augmented the mystical propaganda by arranging disappearing acts for naughty mice who refused the religion. Memes like studying is good, infighting is bad, work hard to grow peanuts, birth control, the gods care about you etc were implanted in the mice society. Cold blooded logic gates technology enforced the obedience: Work OR Die! Pay AND pay! Freedom NOT worthwhile! IF you oppose, you vanish!Over time the coldblooded logic gates and memetic technology fused to become unchallenged memeplexes which conducted the evolution of the mice in a manner that suited the Panspermic Papayas. The mice were becoming timid, docile and hardworking, providing the Papaya gods with all the peanuts they need. As days went past the Papaya gods demanded higher amounts of peanuts as tribute from the mice. Powerful as the Papayas were they could not control the randomness which is Nature. The mice soon discovered that the peanuts they so painstakingly grew were flaunted and spent carelessly by the Papaya gods. Some Gods like Fatflatulentlady were even feeding pet monkeys with excessive peanuts for leisure. Eventually over 4ooyears of repression some mice mutated naturally, taking on a more inquisitive and bold nature. They had escaped the memetical control regime!The new mice contacted the outer star systems establishing contact with the Bombastic Legion Of Great Intergalactic Publishers. They tried building a safe haven in the remote region of Whitehorse Nebula known as blogspace where the publishers dwell. Alas the Papayas had wide contacts and Whitehorse Nebula was filled with Papaya cronies for who made life difficult for the new mice. In desperation a mice named CheerSalutationsJoy sabotaged the air fields of the Papaya gods, launched several escape pods modified with cloaking technology and leaped into warp space; escaping the clutches of the Papayas. Hiding in secret locales outside the scanner range of the false Papaya gods, CheerSalutationsJoy and other renegade mice work hard to spread awareness on the memetically imposed oligarchy seeking to free their trapped brethen. Will the memetical mice ever be freed? It remains unanswered but with each new dawn another mice awakens.

Auhor's Note:
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used ficticiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Wise words of Zhuge Kongming

One of the most revered military strategists and public administrators since the period of 3 Kingdoms, Zhuge Kongming was a man of noble birth, forged by the rigors destiny had in store for him and found his way into the annals of history. He is known by his nickname "Dragon in Repose" (Wo Long in Hanyu Pinyin) and was a farmer before he was approached by Liu Bei. Zhuge Kongming had written many essays about governance and selection/classifications of generals. The following are some enlightening excerpts from his essays, courtesy of http://kongming.net/:

Observant Government

An observant and perceptive government is one that looks at subtle phenomena and listens to small voices. When phenomena are subtle they are not seen, and when voices are small they are not heard; therefore an enlightened leader looks closely at the subtle and listens for the importance of the small voice.

This harmonizes the outside with the inside, and harmonizes the inside with the outside; so the Way of government involves the effort to see and hear much.

Thus when you are alert to what the people in the lower echelons have to say, and take it into consideration, so that your plan include the rank and file, then all people are your eyes and a multitude of voices helps your ears. This is the reason for the classic saying, “A sage has no constant mind - the people are the sage’s mind.”

Chasing Evils

There are five types of harm in decadence among national armed forces. First is the formation of factions that band together for character assassination, criticizing an vilifying the wise and the good. Second is luxury is uniforms.
Third is wild tales and confabulations about the supernatural.
Fourth is judgment based on private views, mobilizing groups for personal reasons.
Fifth is making secret alliances with enemies, watching for where the advantage may lie.

All people like this are treacherous and immoral. You should distance yourself from them and not associate with them.

Arrogance in Generals
Generals should not be arrogant, for if they are arrogant they will become discourteous, and if they are discourteous people will become alienated from them. When people are alienated, they become rebellious.

General should not be stingy, for if they are stingy they will not reward the trustworthy, and if they do not reward the trustworthy, the soldiers will not be dedicated., the armed forces are ineffective, and if the armed forces are ineffective, the nation is empty. When the nation is empty, its opponents are full.

Confucius said, “People may have the finest talents, but if they are arrogant and stingy, their others qualities are not worthy of consideration.”

Self-exertion
Sages follow the rules of heaven; the wise obey the laws of earth; the intelligent follow precedent. Harm comes to the arrogant; calamity visits the proud. Few people trust those who talk too much; few people feel indebted to the self-serving. Rewarding the unworthy causes alienation; punishing the innocent causes resentment. Those whose appreciation or anger are unpredictable perish.

Adjudication
When rulers adjudicate criminal cases and execute punishments, they worry that they may be unclear. The innocent may be punished while the guilty may be released. The powerful may arrogate to themselves alone the right to speak, while the powerless may have their rights infringed upon by those who bear grudges against them. Honesty may be distorted; those who are wronged may not get a chance to express themselves. The trustworthy may be suspected; the loyal may be attacked. These are all perversions, problems causing disaster and violence, aberrations causing calamity and chaos.

Pillars of State
For strong pillars you need straight trees; for wise public servants you need upright people. Straight trees are found in remote forests; upright people come from the humble masses. Therefore when rulers are going to make appointments they need to look in obscure places.

Sometimes there are disenfranchised people with something of value in them; sometimes there are people with extraordinary talent who go unrecognized. Sometimes there are paragons of virtue who are not promoted by their hometown; sometimes there are people who live in obscurity on purpose.

Sometimes there are people who are dutiful and righteous for purely philosophical or religious reasons. Sometimes there are loyal people who are straightforward with rulers but are slandered by cliques. Ancient kings are known to have hired unknowns and nobodies, finding in them the human qualities whereby they were able to bring peace.

What Hurts the People
There are five things that hurt the people:
1. There are local officials who use public office for personal benefit, taking improper advantage of their authority, holding weapons in one hand and people’s livelihood in the other, corrupting their offices, and bleeding the people.
2. There are cases where serious offenses are given light penalties; there is inequality before the law, and the innocents are subjected to punishment, even execution. Sometimes serious crimes are pardoned, the strong are supported, and the weak are oppressed. Harsh penalties are applied, unjustly torturing people to get at facts.
3. Sometimes there are officials who condone crime and vice, punishing those who protest against this, cutting off the avenue of appeal and hiding the truth, plundering and ruining lives, unjust and arbitrary.
4. Sometimes there are senior officials who repeatedly change department heads so as to monopolize the government administration, favoring their friends and relatives while treating those they dislike with unjust harshness, oppressive in their actions, prejudiced and unruly. They also use taxation to reap profit, enriching themselves and their families by exactions and fraud.
5. Sometimes local officials extensively tailor awards and fines, welfare projects, and general expenditures, arbitrarily determining prices and measures, with the result that people lose their jobs.
These five things are harmful to the people, and anyone who does any of these should be dismissed from the office.

Rewards and Penalties
A policy of rewards and penalties means rewarding the good and penalizing wrongdoers. Rewarding the good is to promote achievement; penalizing wrongdoers is to prevent treachery.

It is imperative that rewards and punishments be fair and impartial. When they know rewards are to be given, courageous warriors know what they are dying for; when they know penalties are to be applied, villains know what to fear.

Therefore, rewards should not be given without reason, and penalties should not be applied arbitrary. If rewards are given for no reason, those who have worked hard in public service will be resentful; if penalties are applied arbitrary, upright people will be bitter.

Pink Malady

I read with much concern an incident which happened to a group of gay and lesbian joggers along the Singapore River. A detailed account has been written in Yawning Bread. My perspective on this issue is that it's about time we review the Assemblies and Processions section of the Miscellaneous Offenses Act and it's legal boundaries. The following are sections taken out of the Singapore Constitution and Miscellaneous Offenses Act.

Constitution

Freedom of speech, assembly and association
14. —(1) Subject to clauses (2) and (3) —

(a) every citizen of Singapore has the right to freedom of speech and expression;

(b) all citizens of Singapore have the right to assemble peaceably and without arms; and

(c) all citizens of Singapore have the right to form associations.

(2) Parliament may by law impose —

(a) on the rights conferred by clause (1) (a), such restrictions as it considers necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of Singapore or any part thereof, friendly relations with other countries, public order or morality and restrictions designed to protect the privileges of Parliament or to provide against contempt of court, defamation or incitement to any offence;

(b) on the right conferred by clause (1) (b), such restrictions as it considers necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of Singapore or any part thereof or public order; and

(c) on the right conferred by clause (1) (c), such restrictions as it considers necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of Singapore or any part thereof, public order or morality



Miscellaneous Offenses Act

Assemblies and processions
5. —(1) The Minister may make rules —

(a) regulating assemblies and processions in public roads, public places and places of public resort;

(b) providing for the grant of permits for holding assemblies and processions in public roads, public places and places of public resort, and the fees to be charged therefor;

(c) for keeping order and preventing obstruction or inconvenience in public roads, bridges, landing places, and all public places and places of public resort; and

(d) prescribing the punishment by a fine not exceeding $5,000 or imprisonment for a term not exceeding 3 months or both for any act or omission in contravention of the provisions of any such rules.
[10/89]

(2) The Minister may by order prohibit or restrict, subject to such conditions as may be specified in the order, the holding of any assembly or procession in any public road, public place or place of public resort specified in the order.

[10/89]

(3) A Deputy Commissioner of Police may, with the concurrence of the Minister, prohibit or restrict the holding of any assembly or procession in any specified public road, public place or place of public resort in any particular case where the Deputy Commissioner is satisfied that the holding of such assembly or procession may result in public disorder, damage to property or disruption to the life of the community.

[10/89]

(4) Any person who —

(a) organises or assists in organising any assembly or procession in any public road, public place or place of public resort in contravention of any order under subsection (2) or any prohibition or restriction under subsection (3) shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $10,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months or to both; or

(b) participates in any assembly or procession in any public road, public place or place of public resort where he knows or ought reasonably to have known that the assembly or procession is held in contravention of an order under subsection (2) or any prohibition or restriction under subsection (3) shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $1,000.

Adherence to law is no doubt the thread of civility that keeps a society bound together in an orderly fashion and brings about general peace. It's true the organizers committed an infringement by not submitting an application for the Pink Run along Singapore River. This is the case in strict accordance to the legislation. Let us not forget however that the law is also highly dependent on interpretation and reasoning. As stated in the Constitution, citizens are supposed to have their freedom of expression and assembly. To protect the interests of the Republic further laws were passed to ensure that assemblies of unwanted nature are prevented. Unwanted nature has been specified as: 1.Threats to the security of the republic 2.Disruption to diplomatic relationships 3.Impacts to public order/morality 4. Threats to restrictions designed to protect privileges of the Parliament 5. Contempt against court 6.Defamation or incitement to any offense. Frankly I don't see how a group of people jogging in pink T- Shirts are in anyway considered an assembly of unwanted nature. They are gay but they are not doing anything unwholesome, just jogging. Apparently gay people jogging does not fall into the category of public disorder/damage to property/disruption to the life of the community either. So I ask is it illegal if one organizes a Chinese New Year dinner for an extended family of 20 people and lead the family in walking a few hundred meters along the road to the restaurant?Do I have to apply for a permit? This is the kind of ridiculous questions that we want to ask the police? If so I guess the legislation might be the real cause of public disorder/ disruption if Chinese New Year comes and everyone starts jamming their hot line with the same question.

Its fearful when one realizes that the law enforcers sworn to uphold the law are so meticulously concerned in applying the law to the letter that they forget what the letters mean as a sum. Another question, who checks on the Minister then in ensuring that his/her prohibitions are just and non-partisan? Why are there no exclusions included in the act to make allowances for non-political social gatherings? It's been a good 40 years and a new generation has sprung up. A literate and law-abiding populace, so are we being too hung up on the 1960s riots? Yes, riots are detrimental to the well being of the society but what about diminished space for personal expression? Is it healthy for the Singaporean psychology? If we want graduates to progress from washing test tubes its time for a change in perspective. My Professor fielded a question to the class today and he said: "Come on people...think! Have an opinion. I'm not going to call your names from the register and ask you questions individually. You are not kids." Absolutely true. If our leaders in the 1960s had the bonsai mentality, where would Singapore be today?The thought of eking out a dwarfed existence without bearing fruit is unbearable.

Bin 333 & 444. Salut!

What the heck?! Simi Bin333 & 444?! Has Rezzledaz finally lost it and gone stark raving mad? No lah! Bin 333 & 444 are a vineyard's trademark for their pinot noir and cabernet sauvignon. Ole Rezzledaz here is a vinophiliac (For the record I coined this word first!). I love my alcohol. Besides, cold weather and resveratrol are good excuses for drinking hehe. Here in Kingsford, Sydney the wine price is around 13.99 AUD/bottle for Wyndham Estate's Bin series at the local liquor shop. That's probably about 18.80 SGD. Don't drink lagi wasted! Wyndham Estate's most famous grape is Shiraz but I drink that pretty often and it's quite well known so I guess I'll skip on the review of that. For those who want to try the Shiraz its known by the trademark Bin555. Should be able to find it at most shops in SG.

Pinot Noir is a tough grape, sometimes its spectacular sometimes like sai. Best one of course is from Burgundy in France but Rezzledaz is poor so cannot afford to fly in a cask or two. This Bin333 is berry red, fresh raspberry first notes with a bit of cassis. It's lightly sweet lower in dryness(tannins). After taste is earthy and lightly spice, doesn't linger too long. I will give it a 6.8/10. Winespectator gave it a 87 points. I think Pinot Noir can be better, but just my personal opinion .I'm not a trained sommelier so don't take my word for it. I think it will taste good mixed with brut (non-Champagne region produced bubbly wines). Will try and let you guys know, after my tests keke. For beef stew though it imparts some pretty neat flavors. I added it into my beef stew cooked in the afternoon with some rosemary. Wah shiok man. Yah I cooked my chop-chop red wine beef stew because I have evening classes so cooked it during lunch and scooped it on some rice and garlic bread for dinner. Nice!Those who know me should know I'm quite picky about food hurhur. Ah if you guys want the beef stew recipe can MSN me or drop a comment. I use the easy method hehe.

Bin444 is cabernet sauvignon. Full bodied , smoky and ripe berries. Quite typical of the usual cabernet. Stronger tannins than Bin333. More lingering in my opinion. I give it a 7.2/10. Cabernet sauvignon's pretty much a safe bet in most wine producing regions. Its an old variety. For cooking I used it in deglazing the pan and making red-wine sauce for lamb chop or steaks. Last week I made red wine sauce with Bin444 on lamb cutlet. Not bad. Enhances the lamb with it's flavors. The carbo I paired it with was mint potatoes ,quite a good complement. You guys might want to try.

Ok next will be a review of Chardonnay I guess. Yea because I need a drink to go with my chao fan(fried rice) haha. I think the creamy old chardonnay should be a perfect match to go along. Oh yes Ah Huey I haven't tried Old Bastard brand you tasked me to. Will give you a review of that soon!

Legacy of Heres Leonidus- Part I

As he strutted proudly up the the white marbled steps of the Senate, Heres Leonidus sucked in a deep breath and adjusted his gold and purple toga. Ah another hot summer day, another wrestling match with the insufferable fools he mused. " All Hail Rex Heres Leonidus!" the usher shouted as Heres made a grand entrance in slow deliberate steps, soaking in the greetings and salutations by the patricians. "Please, my comrades. Be seated." A blood curdling scream grounded the fawning on Heres to an abrupt halt. At the top of the steps was Lenis Auctoritas, the heretic philosopher and rhetor. Bloodied from a gash by the side of his arm, he cried out " Corruptio optimi pessima! Rex Heres, Monstra Mihi Pecuniam!" Two stern Praetorians appeared in an instant and held him back as he tried to hurl himself across the floor of the Curia Hostilia. "What outrage is this?!"Praetor Faveo Risumus glowered. " Why hasn't this man been disposed of yet?!" Heres fumed, his hand clutching the hilt of his gladius. " Yes Rex, he will be dealt with immediately! Praetorians! Take him to the carcer!"Faveo howled at the two Praetorians, who dragged Lenis away forcefully. "Praetor..was it not my Father's order to have that nuisance permanently removed?"Heres murmured, while tossing his gladius between hands playfully. "Rex indeed it was. Allow me to explain. Lenis had the support of some wayward barbarians in Gaul and somehow he managed to escape incarceration with help from these supporters."Faveo responded in a strained voice, bowing. "Perhaps we should engage a more assertive Praetor... We can't have madmen running in to disturb our routine can we?"Heres threatened the seemingly shrunken Faveo. Stifled laughs were heard from the ranks of the Senators. Faveo straightened his red and white toga , retaliating " Rex, I have been in the office since the rule of the great Augustus Lucius Leonidus. Over the years I have served your Father and you with due diligence." "That only means that you should start enjoying the fruits of your labor. I heard you have a well appointed residence in Florence do you not? I think you should learn to enjoy more of it's grounds."Heres signaled to his Magister Militum Lepos Virtus, who escorted the aged Praetor out of the curia grounds immediately.

"Now lets get back to business shall we? What is the agenda for the day, Princep?"Heres questioned the Princep Senatus Servus Dominus who reads out agenda for the Senate meetings. " Rex and fellow members of the Senate, the first issue of the day is the Loss of our hold in Asia Minor. The Governor of Temeritus Hold , the esteemed Callidus Pacalis has lost a shipment of one hundred thousand aureus to the rebel plebian army and the trading town of Shineas Corpus has been sacked." "Callidus should be held accountable for the losses!"cried Moenias, a popular senator who holds a pro-republic stance. Senator Adstruo Orientis, long-time friend of Moenias tugged at his sleeve and whispered tersely "What are you thinking Moenias?! Callidus is his lover!" Meanwhile the other senators exchanged muted looks and broke into odd bits of conversation now and then. " And so you think you can do a better job then, Moenias?"Heres countered, one hand on the arm-rest of his grey marble seat, the other on the hilt of the gladius he was spinning on he floor. Standing up, he walked over to the row of Senators where Moenias stood. Waving an arc with his gladius across the row of Senators he challenged them "Is there any amongst you willing to replace Callidus?!" An uncomfortable pregnant pause crushed the air, Heres satisfied with his successful intimidation returned to his seat. "We still have to account to the people of Rome, Rex" Moenias ventured. "What is Rome, Wise Moenias?"Heres asked, leaning comfortably into his seat. "Rome is the people, this Senate and the lands that stretch from here to Numidia."Moenias replied.

" No Moenias, I am Rome."Heres thundered. " Then we should disband this Senate and go back to our farms."Moenias laughed. Adstruo Metonius intervened "My old friend Moenias must be delirious from the wine we shared. Haha he's equal parts lousy drinker and good orator. A potent mix is it not?Haha.." Speaking in soft tones to Moenias , "Think of your family if not of yourself my friend."Adstruo pretended to falter in the action of putting his arm around Moenias. "Ah perhaps I myself am not a good drinker as well. We should go rest, Moenias."Adstruo added, trying desperately to salvage the situation. Pontifex Maximus Coitus Primus stepped in and mediated, whispering to Heres "Moenias is still of use. We need him in the Senate to keep the mob happy. We have eyes on him, everything is within our control." Heres pondered the situation and decided that a show of magnanimity would be the best solution. " Take your friend and leave, Adstruo. Remember to send me some of that wine!"Heres remarked and the Senators broke into guffaws.

As Adstruo and Moenias hurried away from the Curia Hostilia, Adstruo reprimanded the younger man "Moenias that was too brash, even for you! Do you not know that Callidus is Heres's lover?!" "I know well what they are, Adstruo. You have my respect for being an honorable man, but I am prepared to stand and fight for the right cause. Callidus has the calibre of a mule and we both know that very well."Moenias argued, face flushed with anger. "Heres has the love of the praetorians and the legions. What do you think will happen to your family and yourself if you were to cross him too much. Moenias my friend, we are not indispensible, we have a voice in the Senate because he allows it. Can you really bear the thought of your wife being raped, your son being sodomised before they kill them in front of you? "Adstruo counseled. "It is not without a glimmer of hope, Moenias. I do know a way we can bring down Heres and democracy back to Rome. There is a secret which will empower us. Come let us go to the lavatorium and talk. It will be safe there."Adustruo motioned for Moenias to follow and the duo walked brisly into the distance. Unnoticed in the shadows of a pillar was a cloaked man, surveying their every move. Glancing around he started to follow the pair.

To be Continued

Auhor's Note:

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used ficticiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Remember the Tenants

In the previous post I mentioned in brief some of my fellow tenants. Lets delve into greater detail with this post. At this very moment there are 5 people in the 2 storey townhouse. T, A, Jin, Jin's gf and me. Technically Jin's gf is not a tenant, she just a licensee whom we tolerate. She happens to be on a 2 week visit here so the landlords decided that she could stay and we gave our consent too. T was the first to move in followed by me. A moved in 3 days after I did while Jin and his gf just moved in this morning. T is a strapping young man who does most of the cooking for the duo while his buddy A is slimmer and does most of the washing up. Both are from Sichuan. Jin and gf are from Shanghai, both are pretty good looking people.

Characteristics wise, the T & A duo keep to themselves generally and they prefer to cook their own dishes: mainly capsicum and leek with pork, leek with pork, pasta, fried rice with egg etc. Rustic stuff. They like to converse in their native direct and speak Mandarin or English only when they are communicating with others. I had suggested we could share the cooking burden but they didn't seem keen on the idea. So normally they cook theirs and I cook mine. Its a hassle when it comes to meal times and everyone is making a beeline for the kitchen. I guess they just aren't used to communal living. T is an easy going kinda guy while A is more distant and reserved. Perhaps the discipline one studies has some form of impact on a person's character, T's an engineering student while A majors in accounting and finance. Once I used some cooking oil and salt belonging to T& A. A came up to me and told me that China guys are very independent and I should get my own seasonings. In fact it was T who had told me earlier I could use the salt. Well I used my own condiments like soya sauce and pepper. So in reality I had only used some oil. Seriously who can finish a bag of 1 kg salt? It takes a really long time to consume that much salt. He also told me that I could use the pots and pans they bought but I should put them back in the cabinet after washing. A asked if I understood and I nodded "Yea ok". Later I explained that I was drying the pots and pans by the sink because I didn't want to keep them while they are wet as bacteria might grow.

So I decided to shut A up , I bought a nice posh stainless steel electric kettle and told him that everyone can use it. I also put a strainer for public use. Its funny having a 19yr old kid trying to set boundaries. Obviously he lacks the foresight to see the advantages of sharing resources with Uncle Rezzle who has deeper pockets. Oh well I guess its their loss of not being able to enjoy red wines, steaks and curries or yong tau foo. The other day I was watching T&A cook as I wanted to see how different Sichuan cuisine was. So T was explaining while chopping up the veges and meat about Sichuan food. A helped by washing the veges and peeling the garlic. It was rather comical when A tried using a swiss knife no bigger than a nail cutter to peel garlic cloves. I showed him the professional way : smashed the clove with the side of a chopper, chop off the two ends and it was peeled. T was also laboriously cutting strips of meat from some slabs of pork chop. I advised him that strips of pork were available at the supermarket. Today A was at it again during dinner time when they could not find one of their pans. I told them that Jin and gf had used it earlier. Later on we found out that Jin had put the pan into the dishwasher compartment. A then came down and pasted Post its indicating which were their stuff and how they were not for public use. Like most PRCs, T & A aspire to stay in australia for work after graduation. Its a wise move as overseas exposure can increase one's market value. I'm not so worried for T as he's a pretty laidback and easy going dude , A however needs to work on his xenophobic tendencies. If he can't even manage to get on friendly terms with Chinese housemates what about colleagues in the future? And if one wants to stick with just their own kind then why venture overseas for studies?

Now Jin and gf provided me much comic relief the first time I saw them. Jin's a 2nd yr student in actuarial science and had been staying at Barker street. The reason he moved here was that the gf couldn't stand him staying with 4 girls. She was so concerned about competition that she asked my evil landlady J three times on whether she was married. J was relating to me and her hubby on how impossible it would be for her to fall for a kid like Jin and vice versa for Jin to fall for a plump auntie like herself. We all agreed that the gf was way too paranoid. And its not like she's ugly, in fact shes pretty and has got a nice figure. Such low self esteem hehe. Looking at the well groomed Jin, its kinda obvious he's from a wealthy background. And from parts of conversation with me and the landlords we could tell that money wasn't of that much of a concern for him. He had even volunteered to pay for a gas leak alarm as he was scared that a gas leak might occur as his space is near the kitchen. Funny part is he's renting the cheapest room in the house, the living room because the gf wanted it cheap. In fact there's still another room in the garage which is better in terms of privacy and closed off from the kitchen. We figured that its part of the gf's agenda to keep him in public view so that he can't get up to any hanky panky when she's gone. I joked that I could probably act as double agent for both Jin and his gf. The gf would probably get me to spy on Jin and at the same time Jin would pay me to lie to the gf haha. We reckon its likely he'll just pay the rent and move to another place after the gf leaves.
Now I shall have to think of a codename for myself =D

Steak Out!

My evil landlady has a plan, she intends to fatten me up. Each day she will unfailingly remind me to eat more (she measures in terms of Aussie size servings). To quell her frequent admonishments, I decided to cook something heavy to show her I'm eating a fair amount. Browsing through the range of meats at the supermarket I decided on my choice of retaliation: steak! Sun Tzu said: "When the strike of a hawk breaks the body of its prey, it is because of timing". Therefore for the strike to be effective and on target, I timed my cooking show to make sure she'll bump into me cooking up my scrumptious steak. Starting at around half past 5 I began marinating my slab of meat. Gave it some serious whacking with the back of my chopper to tenderise it and started rubbing salt, black pepper plus Worchester sauce. Meanwhile I put a pot of water on stove and waited for it to boil. While waiting I decided to stir fry some mixed vegetables consisting of peas, carrots and cauliflower. Heating up a pan I lobed some magarine in and tossed the mixed veges with a bit of salt and pepper till they were pliant and aromatic. As the water in the pot boiled I threw in some potatoes.

Ah ha! As I was plating my veges, a couple came to view the house. " I heard there're 2 China guys and 1 Singaporean living here."the girl remarked in Mandarin. T, my housemate pointed me out as the Singaporean. And she followed with , " Does he speak mandarin?". "Am I not speaking Mandarin?"I replied in a joking tone. The girl was utterly surprised "Oh you speak Mandarin? Singaporeans know Mandarin?". T jumped to the Singaporean defence "Yea Singaporeans speak everything under the sun. Malay, English , Mandarin etc." My...we have a reputation lol. Even an 19yr old Sichuan guy knows Singapore. Soon enough my evil landlady arrived. It's all going according to plan, hurhur! So I hollered "Hey look J! I cooking steak hor!" And off she went regaling the new tenants with her evil plan of fattening me up. As the pan was hot I eased my steak in and pressed it flat with 2 forks. The steak sizzled, J looked on and said : " Aussie size serving bigger leh!" . " I haven't add my mash potato yet loh.And if you haven't noticed Im not exactly Aussie size yet."I quipped, while poking my fork into the potatoes. Urgh.. still not done yet. Flipped over the steak and pressed with my forks again.

The new tenants walked around the house and the guy reached out a hand to me, which I shook and introduced myself. He asked me what my major is and I explained that I'm doing Msc in a chemical related field, to which he remarked "Must be abtruse stuff." I brushed it off " Nah just earning a living.". Soon enough my steak was medium, I plated it and started making the sauce. Added some magarine and scooped in my garlic followed shortly by fresh button mushrooms. Cooked the shrooms till they bled water and seasoned with salt and good old black pepper. Topped the mix off with a little water, Worchester sauce and more butter. Simmered into a sauce which I poured over the steak. The potatoes were finally cooked. Sheesh stubborn spuds! I mashed them with a trusty fork and added the magarine into a pot followed by the mash. Poured in the remaining drizzle of my 2l milk and stirred copiously on low heat. J asked me " Then you go back Singapore become pharmacist ah?" Somehow the word Chemist has been used so much to refer to pharmacies in Western countries that people no longer know what chemists do anymore. Sigh..."No Im gonna be a consultant I guess."I replied. " Wah then need to work shift. Pharma companies work 24hrs right?" "No lah. When Im consultant, people pay me I talk and they work." "Ohhhh".

Happy with my mash potato consistency I plated and started on my steak. J began "I think I will get a bigger plate lah. Like that your steak will be bigger. Then you will boom boom boom become fatter." I rolled my eyes...There's no winning this battle.

Clearing the Cache

One of the foremost bloggers in Singapore which I hold in esteem is Mr Wang. His socio-political-scientific blog is a refreshing fount of insight and I strongly recommend people to read it. In a few of his posts Mr Wang talked about meditation and prayer. Meditation was something I used to do when I was in my teens. Funny isn't it? I do things in reverse order haha. What I can affirm is that meditation does indeed produce a multitude of benefits. Like a computer , our brain interprets the world around us using signals triggered by our sensory receptors in our sense organs. In meditation we slow our breathing rate, heart rate, shut off most of our senses, clear our thoughts and relax our muscles. Think of the brain as a browser, during the day or even the night it goes over many webpages and downloaded lots of files etc. Meditation clears our cache. It produces an inner calm, a center of peace and this notion has been written by many gurus. One can think rationally and clearly when he/she is calm. The clearing of gibberish thoughts can also improve one's memory. And this is just a novice induction into meditation. Some forms can even allow a person to self-heal better, produce body heat to sustain one through extreme cold or even deep hibernation. On the other hand prayer is a form of directed thought. Thought with direction is extremely powerful.

Think in terms of quantum mechanics. At this level , things are broken down into wave functions and probability distributions of where the particles are. Particles are also dual-natured having both particle characteristics and waveform characteristics. Its all about energy levels, vibrations and rotations of the particle-wave entities. Material existence is such, basically frequency is the basis for many things. Consider this. During meditation the brain gives out alpha-waves 8-12Hz(low frequency) and gamma waves 26-40Hz(higher frequency) when we are involved in higher mental activities. One may argue what such relatively low frequencies can do. Well there is such a thing called constructive wave interference. When waves of similar frequencies converge they get amplified. Take for example a Christian prayer session or a Buddhist prayer session. People's brains are affected by the music and chanting, so its possible that they are emitting oscillations/frequencies which are highly similar. Imagine how strong the energies will be when the crowd is hundreds or thousands strong. This could be a possible explanation to why people often report supernatural events occurring like miracle heals and seeing lights or hearing divine music. Is it really that supernatural? Perhaps like what Mr Wang says, science has yet to catch up yet. Whether the amplified brainwaves affect the environment I can't say for sure without experimentations, but in my personal context fervent prayer has certainly helped me in those desperate moments when I really felt I was going to black out for exams or my brain was overloaded from studying. I'm a free thinker btw.

Writing about this I think I should go back to my meditation practice again. Seeing now that I'm past 30 and beginning to notice the loss in my mental sharpness. I stopped the practice gradually after O Levels. A funny incident happened in my secondary school , a group of school bullies came up to me while I was meditating before assembly, ridiculed me and jokingly asked for 4D numbers. Looking back, its amusing how shallow some people can be. I guess I also felt weird and out of place by meditating. Kids my age then probably weren't reading books titled like Beyond Supernature. Can't help it I'm a geek by nature.

D+14

Its now D+14. In military terms D means Day of attack/operation and the subsequent term is usually a variable referencing to the start date eg D+1 is the day after the attack date. Sunny outlook to the weather today at a warm 19 degrees Celsius and I had my first morning lecture after a span of 5years+. The lecturer was a burly guy with a sense of humor. He did'nt even bat an eyelid when I told him I only enrolled on the 02 Aug 07 ( I missed 4 of his lectures and was without a work group). In typical Australian style assurance was given, several questions asked and everything was alrite and dandy mate! Transfer this scenario to an Asian setting and I would probably have been sentenced to academic doom.

Tolerance is a familiar term to me, in my line of work it means a set of variation limits which an instrument/test must achieve to validate its performance being reliable. In life however tolerance is so much more than meets the eye. So far in my 2 weeks+1 , I have found the locals to be a tolerant lot generally. Gay couples holding hands in streets, professors dressing down, treating students enrolling in late cordially etc. Most of the Uni staff I have come into contact with seem to understand difficulties faced by international students. In addition, options are open to students for alternative modules to get credit accumulations aside from those offered as part of the course packages. Wow, academic flexibility. I have had little of this back in my alma mater. I recall in my sophomore year, my request to switch to the degree course in food science and technology was rejected outright by a professor and was told if I wanted to take that up I had to quit and reapply. This was despite the fact that I had a food science and technology diploma. Resigned to fate, I completed my basic degree and graduated without attending the convocation. Honors year wasn't even a consideration, I was incensed and felt stifled. I was robbed of an opportunity to study my subject of interest in my very own homeland. And I wasn't even a bad student with crappy grades. Perhaps I'm dull but I never understood the reason why I had no right to pursue an area of my interest even though I had the relevant qualifications.

Hence fast forward to 5years later, when my financials allowed I applied for an Msc with UNSW. I was choosing an alternative module to replace one which was unavailable and my professor offered me a postgraduate food science module to which I replied " Yea I can do that I have a diploma in food science & technology." "Brilliant!"he said. And thats what flexible learning should be.

By clamping down on students' interests the majority produced will be book-crunching grade chasing graduates with little drive & passion for their discipline outside of the classroom(from experience most fresh graduates I see in work forget the stuff they learn at our local universities). Do not forget that the majority of the people fall into the middle range of the cumulative curve. Outright geniuses are few, so if you just focus on these you end up with a ton of mediocres. Pareto Logic at work breeding scholars?Focus on 20% of the significant who may contribute to the nation's success? My humble opinion is: To improve the quality of workforce, people should be encouraged to take up subjects which interest them and their education should be broadbased so that they will possess knowledge across the board and the drive to improve/upgrade. Who knows , maybe one day they may even contribute to the progress of their subjects. Geniuses are not the only ones who come up with discoveries. Serendipity occurs for many great findings, but in the hands of a person with mediocre understanding he/she won't even recognize the discovery. Which is why we should not be producing people who know how to rattle off the abcs of their trade but lack the deeper understanding on how to apply their discipline. This is the age of knowledge based economy. Technology unites many disciplines, thus there is need to produce talents who can apply their knowledge and not just statistical numbers to meet industrial requirements.

One can fish in rivers of trout and catch a good meal, but it is in the seas that you catch a trophy like the marlin-> Part of the reason why Australia has got a number nobel prize winners while Singapore is still trying in vain to breed some. Luring scientists with $ is not a long term solution at all. Believe in the people, nurture them and they will deliver. As far back as my polytechnic days I have had ideas for Singapore: Having areas on top of HDB Flats for horticulture. Also about 8 years ago I had I thought about utilizing a combination of air-flushing toilets with biogas technology and solar energy for fueling military camps. Its both strategically wise and Nsfs can be trained to use air-flushing toilets easily. This will condition an entire generation to the biogas system and this is good because natural gas and oil will run out one day. Then what will Singapore run on? The current trend seems that we are emulating Monaco and Las Vegas. Good forward thinking but we should do more and start thinking on what our energy options are. What about tidal energy? We are surrounded by water and are we taking advantage of this? Instead of the overwhelming costs of building tidal dams why don't we try an array of undersea turbines to generate tidal energy. Even if we lack the sea space for practical application, at least we are able to develop and sell the technology. Do we have scholars involved in research on super-conducting transformers as well? I can assure you that there are a number of Singaporeans with sound ideas out there but will anyone listen? No because the general idea is if you are not a scholar, step aside.

Its Frickin' Freezing in here, Mr Bigglesworth!

As Dr Evil said to his bald kitty when he was stuck in the cryogenic chamber of his escape rocket:"Its fricking freezing in here, Mr Bigglesworth!". The temperature now in Sydney is a mere 10 degrees Celsius, thanks to the rain which has been pouring down periodically since the morning . Sheesh! Had to wind up the heater to keep warm brrrr...... All that mashed potato(I threw a glob of margarine in there) and fried chicken(with skin!) didn't manage to warm me either. I guess its time to hit the bottle! Time to take to the streets and scout for liqour.

I'm actually pretty pissed with the weather, it spoilt my plan of doing laundry today. Somehow whenever I'm in the mood for washing it's either cloudy or raining. Which sparked a chain of thought in my head: Chinese have long worshiped a myriad of deities that preside over nature and things that transpire in our lives(eg Lottery Luck) or over certain geographical locations(eg mountains). Now there happens to be a domestic deity we call Zao Jun in Chinese who happens to have dominion over the Kitchen. I wonder if his powers extended over to laundry, because if it does I better start offering some joss sticks. Need more Laundromatic Luck!

Cooking101

Aside from the usual academic load, foreign students like me usually have to grapple with extra home economics modules: Cooking101 & Laundry101. These are necessary evils, if one wishes to cut living expenses. Especially here in Sydney where a normal sandwich and cappuccino amounts to 8AUD. That's like 11SGD for me. Advantage of taking Cooking101: Makes one appreciate their mother. Sentimentalities aside, theres a lot of sh|t in Cooking101. First you have to plan your weekly grocery trip. Have an idea of what you would like to eat during the week and buy them all together. Time management is essential when you have classes and homework to do as well. For stuff like pasta and rice, cook in bulk and store them in plastic tubs for future use. This can be done over the weekends when you have more time. Here are some of the stuff I cook :

Mash Potatoes
Make a cut around circumference of each potato, throw into boiling water with a tiny bit of salt.
To tell if they're cooked plunge a fork into the potato, if it goes all the way through its toasted!
Take out the cooked potatoes and wash them in cold water. You should be able to peel off the skin easily now. Use a fork and mash them. In a hot pot, melt some butter throw in your mash and add some milk. Stir on low heat. Season with pepper and salt. If you are into cooking bigtime, you can do green apples in the same way add it to the mix. Brown some onions to caramelise them throw in the mash apples n potatoes with butter and some milk. Great with pork chop!

Soba
I like green tea soba. So I tend to cook this a lot. Grab probably 2-3 handfuls(depending on the size of your hand I guess). Throw in boiling water with a tiny bit of salt. Cook till soft , probably around 5-6 minutes. Take out soak in cold water. Pour in soba sauce, which is a mix of soya sauce, mirin and sugar. These are available in ready made bottles too from supermarkets.

Half boiled Egg
Tasty stuff to go with toasted bread and soba as well. Have a pot of boiling water. Throw in an egg. Time around 3minutes +/1 20secs. Take out and crack. The egg white should be semi solid whitish and opaque whilst the yolk is still runny. Great with soya sauce and white pepper. A part of the classic Singapore style breakfast : half-boiled egg + black coffee + toasted bread. Yum!

Teriyaki Cod
Marinate cod in Teriyaki sauce and black pepper. Can be left overnight in chiller. Fry up till golden. Leave the oil, throw in some garlic and onions to brown, add Teriyaki sauce, sugar some water and a tiny bit of corn starch to thicken.

Tuna filling for sandwiches/croissants(recommended with croissants)
Open a can of tuna in oil or brine, drain dry. Use a fork to break up chunks, do this in a bowl.
Add 2-2 1/2 tablespoons of mayonnaise, stir it in good. Squeeze a 1/3 lemon in and sprinkle generously with ground black pepper. We can store this in a tub or Ziploc bag for future use.


Honey Mustard Sauce for salmon and other assorted seafood
Add some water , 4 tablespoons of honey, 2 teaspoon sugar, 1/3 cup of lemon juice, 3 tablespoons of mustard to a pan with some melted butter. Stir till creamy. You can replace butter with cream if you like.

Rosemary with chicken
Take a piece of chicken, make some cuts along the meat. Rub salt, pepper and rosemary.Drizzle with olive oil , let it marinate for at least 4hrs or overnight. Fry up. Taste great with a bit of chili sauce. PS: Remember to use palm oil for frying. Its a more hardy oil with higher BP(boiling point).


Porkchop
Take a few fillets of pork and tenderize them. Meaning u beat them with the back of your knife/chopper. This is to release enzymes that soften the meat Season with salt and white pepper. Break an egg, take the yolk and beat it up on a bowl. Dip pork fillets into egg yolk and coat them with pulverized wheat biscuit crumbs. Fry till golden.


Mini Pizza
Take some left over bagel and slice them diagonally, slap pizza or pasta sauce on them sprinkle with grated mozarella cheese. Add whatever toppings you prefer. You can add some canned mushrooms, toasted capsicum and leftover chicken or beef. Toast in a toaster/oven/microwave!

Highly Pressured Lean Person (HPLC)

HPLC Ps Waters SG Engineers : Hi Guys remember my commission!

Postgrad. Sounds like something I really wanted to be for a long time. Oh wait I'm one. Time really flies in the truest sense of the word. A few weeks ago I was still in my comfort zone with a stable-stagnant-smeagol pay, friends, family and my cherished game. Boom! I'm now in a mad rush to finish my enrolment and playing catch up to my missed lectures. Thanks to some Hippocratically-related bungling, stiff-necked bureaucracy (Yep I started the process 40,00years back) and nationalistic obligations (Cheers Mr Brown, you're my hero! Rock on!) I had arrived a day late into the semester. Reckon we should have some Red Tape Hate Day event of epic proportions, which would be infinitely better than the hypocritical tree hugging Earth Day.

Anyway, I had intended for this change. As an Aries, its probably in my blood to do so. Astrology so unscientific and superstitious!!!! Curious that a guy versed in scientific methods would deign to consider such an occult practice as reasons for his academic advancement. Yea well, underneath that labcoat I'm still a paranoid, self-deluded star gazing geek with grand ambition =p. I'm Chinese ok, so I have to live up to the Confucian Scholar stereotype reciting all those theories and formulas plus getting good grades in maths and science. Point is I'm a person who needs change and I think Dr Johnson is pretty spot on , so thats why I'm here. Oh yea but Astrology thats an interesting subject, so much argument over the years on its authenticity. It's a hit with the girls(Yea all you buayas out there better learn it) and a lot of people fall into the described traits because personality by nature is a rather complex and dynamic set of characteristics or people can be possibly affected by Confirmation Bias. In fact my profile from Herman's Brain Dominance (Blue-Green) has parts which are in direct contrast with my astrological profile. Funny stuff =) so I ask , Can I be a controlled impulsive person?

Rezzledaz In Sydney

Just a brief introduction. I'm a Singaporean postgrad in Sydney who plays a gnome mage in World of Warcraft. My blog is named after my gnome mage. For those who have no idea what World of Warcraft is, kindly click this link. Also, in the words of the great Eric Cartman, " Join the online sensation which is the World of Warcraft before we murder you". Well if you haven't the slightest inkling of who Eric Cartman is, you must either come from a galaxy far far away or you're in serious need of a breath test.