My evil landlady has a plan, she intends to fatten me up. Each day she will unfailingly remind me to eat more (she measures in terms of Aussie size servings). To quell her frequent admonishments, I decided to cook something heavy to show her I'm eating a fair amount. Browsing through the range of meats at the supermarket I decided on my choice of retaliation: steak! Sun Tzu said: "When the strike of a hawk breaks the body of its prey, it is because of timing". Therefore for the strike to be effective and on target, I timed my cooking show to make sure she'll bump into me cooking up my scrumptious steak. Starting at around half past 5 I began marinating my slab of meat. Gave it some serious whacking with the back of my chopper to tenderise it and started rubbing salt, black pepper plus Worchester sauce. Meanwhile I put a pot of water on stove and waited for it to boil. While waiting I decided to stir fry some mixed vegetables consisting of peas, carrots and cauliflower. Heating up a pan I lobed some magarine in and tossed the mixed veges with a bit of salt and pepper till they were pliant and aromatic. As the water in the pot boiled I threw in some potatoes.
Ah ha! As I was plating my veges, a couple came to view the house. " I heard there're 2 China guys and 1 Singaporean living here."the girl remarked in Mandarin. T, my housemate pointed me out as the Singaporean. And she followed with , " Does he speak mandarin?". "Am I not speaking Mandarin?"I replied in a joking tone. The girl was utterly surprised "Oh you speak Mandarin? Singaporeans know Mandarin?". T jumped to the Singaporean defence "Yea Singaporeans speak everything under the sun. Malay, English , Mandarin etc." My...we have a reputation lol. Even an 19yr old Sichuan guy knows Singapore. Soon enough my evil landlady arrived. It's all going according to plan, hurhur! So I hollered "Hey look J! I cooking steak hor!" And off she went regaling the new tenants with her evil plan of fattening me up. As the pan was hot I eased my steak in and pressed it flat with 2 forks. The steak sizzled, J looked on and said : " Aussie size serving bigger leh!" . " I haven't add my mash potato yet loh.And if you haven't noticed Im not exactly Aussie size yet."I quipped, while poking my fork into the potatoes. Urgh.. still not done yet. Flipped over the steak and pressed with my forks again.
The new tenants walked around the house and the guy reached out a hand to me, which I shook and introduced myself. He asked me what my major is and I explained that I'm doing Msc in a chemical related field, to which he remarked "Must be abtruse stuff." I brushed it off " Nah just earning a living.". Soon enough my steak was medium, I plated it and started making the sauce. Added some magarine and scooped in my garlic followed shortly by fresh button mushrooms. Cooked the shrooms till they bled water and seasoned with salt and good old black pepper. Topped the mix off with a little water, Worchester sauce and more butter. Simmered into a sauce which I poured over the steak. The potatoes were finally cooked. Sheesh stubborn spuds! I mashed them with a trusty fork and added the magarine into a pot followed by the mash. Poured in the remaining drizzle of my 2l milk and stirred copiously on low heat. J asked me " Then you go back Singapore become pharmacist ah?" Somehow the word Chemist has been used so much to refer to pharmacies in Western countries that people no longer know what chemists do anymore. Sigh..."No Im gonna be a consultant I guess."I replied. " Wah then need to work shift. Pharma companies work 24hrs right?" "No lah. When Im consultant, people pay me I talk and they work." "Ohhhh".
Happy with my mash potato consistency I plated and started on my steak. J began "I think I will get a bigger plate lah. Like that your steak will be bigger. Then you will boom boom boom become fatter." I rolled my eyes...There's no winning this battle.
